what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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