I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
