The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
