she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
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