respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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