maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
