sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
