After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
