its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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