Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
