If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
