the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
