I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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