There was a lot of him and a little penis
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you never un-have a 4some
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
