i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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