chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
