my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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