I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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