So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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