ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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