thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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