You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
