I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize