i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
