dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His hands were made for my vagina.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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