my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
