I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
