I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We smell like vodka and hangover
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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