i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
