Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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