Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
