Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize