i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
