are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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