They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
