i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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