What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
