you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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