I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
