You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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