8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
