Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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