I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i'm inner monologue high
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
