By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize