ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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