Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
