so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
