At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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