Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
