We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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