theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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