stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
