Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
