glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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