im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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