It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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