We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
