Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
