If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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