Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
